Here, Terence Tao writes:
it means that one cannot, after all, make equality of sets just a definition, it has to be an axiom.
Isn't this just a matter of denotation? Why can't one call $A=B\iff \forall x(x\in A\Leftrightarrow x\in B)$ a definition?
I think in the book Mathematical Thinking: Problem-Solving and Proofs it is called a definition rather than an axiom, and I don't think there is something false with it.